Today's update

Just wanted to check in and let everyone know how things are going.

Today was Eli's day to come home, and my aunt is keeping him for a few days. My dad had a heart cath Wednesday and doesn't feel well and my aunt doesn't work weekends so she's keeping him until Sunday. He's gonna get to come visit on Sunday and I must say that I can NOT wait. I've been saving him the cottage cheese (individual containers) for him cause it's his favorite!!

The update for today is basically the same...just watching to see how things go. My fetal fibernectin was positive, big shock. They are waiting until next week to repeat it cause they don't want to stir things up. They don't want to mess around when I'm not contracting. So, I'm in this super comfy bed (that wasn't sarcasm, actually) that they brought me cause my other one was making weird buzzing noises that were making me crazy. I don't have a room mate anymore, and I am next on the list for a private room. YAY.

They have been sedating me at night cause I can NOT go to sleep for nothing, and I went 47 hours without a single minute of sleep. Everytime I get to sleep, I start having horrible nightmares and wake up soaked in sweat.

So, on to why my baby boy isn't a baby anymore. This will definately tear your heart out and stomp on it...if you are emotional like me. I called my aunt after she picked him up and got him to her house and fed. She said, "Eli, your mommy is on the phone..." and signed mommy to him. She said that he dropped the toy he was playing with (and I HEARD this...) "MY MOMMY!?!?!"

OMG.

Thanks kid, you broke my heart.

Then he went "mommommommommom...." and she said that he was signing love. I can't wait to see him, I miss him SO much. The whole time I was talking to her he was saying mom. She said that he stood in front of her mirror signing I love Mommy.

The social worker said that they are going to be able to feed Casey while he is here, so we don't have to worry about that. And that's good cause he eats a lot and gets expensive. They bring extra food on every tray and we have the fridge full right now. They also said that anytime either of us want anything to let them know, cause they have a small kitchen type room here and can get us sandwiches and stuff. They also gave us a parking pass that is so much cheaper.

I haven't been able to talk to my mom today cause she doesn't have a home phone anymore and just has a prepaid phone that doesn't have any time on it I hate that...I miss talking to her.



I got really emotional talking to the nurse earlier, just cause I miss Eli so much but I know that this is what needs to be done if his sister is going to have a chance. I hope he somehow understands that he isn't being punished...it's just so hard to explain it to a kid that...just doesn't understand. I'm so glad now that he is so close with my parents and family. I can't remember now, but whoever asked about him staying with Jon...NO THANKS. I'll never get to see him. He is fine with mom and my aunt and I would never be able to see him if he stayed with Jon. I talked to his step mom Courtney though, and told her what was going on, and she said if for some reason there wasn't someone to watch him, let them know and she would take him. She's been really helpful, really. She said that she was wondering if there was something wrong with me Tuesday, she said I looked like I didn't feel good (at the preschool meeting).

I still need to tell you all about the preschool meeting, but my computer is getting hot and I don't want it to shut off in the middle of me writing it...so I'm cutting it off now...
Thanks for reading...if you made it this far.

I would just ask that you continue to keep RaeLynne and myself in your prayers. We love you guys!

If you have had a preemie

I am just trying to wrap my head around the fact that soon......very soon......our baby girl is going to be born, more than likely, way too early. I am 23 weeks this week...and I was just wondering something.

If you have had a preemie (or know someone who has)
When (what week) did you deliver?
How did the delivery go?
What happened afterwards?
Did baby have any complications?
How much did he/she weigh?
Length?
Once you went into labor...how long were you stabilized before you actually gave birth?
How fast did delivery progress?
Anything else I need to know or prepare for?

I do not want to go into this blindfolded. And since I have plenty of time I would just like to get prepared. I'm so sad that I don't get to get her room ready...I don't get to get all the little things done that I wanted...things just ain't going to be normal. I feel so helpless and useless here.

Please keep baby Rae in your prayers. We definately need them!!

Our incredible last few days

Hello from my new home for the next 6-10 weeks! First, thank you all SO much for the prayers for us. I am so scared right now, it's unbelievable.

Ok, so, thanks Laura for updating!! I FINALLY have my computer here and the internet just finally got fixed. So, I should be able to keep you all up to date now.

So, here's what happened...and it may be WAY long, sorry. I have a lot of time on my hands now

Tuesday morning I went for my regular OB checkup. They were doing a cervix length check, just because of my history of preterm labor. My cervix, that should have been at least 3 cm, was 1.9cm. It had began to funnel, meaning it was getting prepared to open. So, my dr. called OSU and told them that he wanted them to evaluate me by next week, and they said NO, I had to be there in the morning. So, I had an appt scheduled for 9 am the next morning. Needless to say, our baby girl had ENTIRELY different plans. I took Eli to his preschool transisition meeting, and an hour later, I began having very strong, painful contractions. I called my dr. and the nurse told me to get to the Labor and Delivery immediately. It was almost time for Eli to go to Jon's...so I got his stuff thrown together and took him with us. My aunt picked him up as we got to the hospital and kept him until it was time for him to get picked up by Jon.

So anyways, they took me up to labor and delivery...and they checked my cervix again and measured her, my cervix length was 1.5cm and I was 1 cm dialated and she was 1 lb 3 oz. They gave her a 3% chance of survival at this point. They told me that it was very possible that I would have my tiny, baby girl by the end of the night and prepare myself and family to lose her. They began me on a strong med to slow down the contractions that were at that point closer than 5 minutes apart. They gave me the first dose of the steroid injection, started me on antibiotics. They told me that she would probably not make it at this point and asked me what I wanted to do. They said that they could keep me there, let me deliver, and hope she would be ok...or they could transfer me to OSU and give her a better shot. They asked me about signing a DNR...which NO I couldn't do...I told them that I would like to do all we could TO KEEP HER IN, but if that failed, we wanted to give her the best shot. 2 hours later, I was in the ambulance on my way to OSU. When I got here at about 11 or so, they checked me again and I was 2 cm dialated and my cervix was now 1.2cm. At 3 am, the dr checked me once more, and I only had 9 mm of cervix left, and I was still 2 cm. By 5 am, the contractions pretty much stopped.

The next day, they moved me to the maternity floor and I had to take 10 doses of the contraction meds. They gave me the second steroid shot at 8 pm and her chance of survival in the next 24 hours went up to approximately 50%. They said had she been born the first night, her lungs would not have been able to expand on their own. Now they should at least be able to.

So, here's the plan...I'm here til delivery!! I'm so freaking scared. I know that I am in the very best place for this but I have another baby back home ya know? I can't very well afford to transport to see me regularly and I am so afraid that he's gonna freak out. I don't want him to think that any of this is his fault and he's being punished not being allowed to see his mommy. They told me (my dr called me) that they decided that they want me here for at least 6-10 weeks. I had kinda figured that from the beginning, but now it's real.

Ugh. This sucks.

Casey's boss made him take 2 days off that we couldn't really afford. He's only gonna be able to come up when he is off on the weekends, cause there is no way that I can afford $50 a trip for him to come up. They did give us an extended stay pass for the garage so that our parking is only $2 a day instead of $15.

Again, thank you go much for all your prayers. Little RaeLynne still needs them, she is NOT ready to come out just yet. It was so weird going for over 24 hours without feeling her move (the meds do that) but she has been moving a little today...

I would LOVE to go at least another 5 weeks. That would be great even though 10 or more would be ideal for her.

Just keep our little girl in your prayers...love ya guys!!